The Gift That Never Dies

My dear Father died on October 25, 1987.  I was stationed in St. Louis at the time with our students who were considering Redemptorist Religious Life as a Priest or Brother.  My sister called me in the middle of the night so I immediately began making arrangements to go to Omaha to be with my Mother and family.  Since I left home to go to the seminary when I was just 14 years old, I did not feel the immediacy of my Dad’s death in the same personal way that the other members of my family did who related to him every day. The reality that he was gone really struck me when I returned home for Christmas that same year.  I remember expecting to hear my Dad walk down the hallway and come into the kitchen.  It took me a little while to adjust to this painful void, the rest of my family had a bit of a head start!

I was only nine years ordained when my Dad died.  While very proud of all of his sons and daughters, he was in a certain way particularly proud to be able to say that he had a son who was a Priest.  One of the many gifts he has given to me is a deep and abiding love for our faith and the Church.  My Mother and Father always had a strong devotion to Our Mother of Perpetual Help and they have passed this on to their family.  From my youngest years I can remember my Dad leaving the house at all hours of the (Saturday) night to keep his assigned hour as a Member of the Nocturnal Adoration Society at the Cathedral.   He was a member of the Serra club and worked and prayed daily for vocations.  Suffice it to say that my parents were very supportive when I said I wanted to go to the seminary.  But, they also assured me, that if I ever decided that this was not the life the Lord was calling me to that the door was always open and I could return home anytime.

Like all of us, my dad had his faults, but he was truly a gentle man with strong conviction.  I really don’t know if he had any enemies, I’m sure there were some people he disliked for various reasons, but I am sure that he had many, many friends.  I was somewhat blown away and humbled by the attendance at his funeral, at which I was the celebrant and homilist.  The church was packed and there were, by the police escort count, 85 cars in the procession to the cemetery.  My dad had the gift of being able to make friends with everybody and if you were fortunate enough to be considered one of his “close” friends, he would be very devoted to you.  Of course there was only one person who could claim the title of “closest” and “dearest” friend and that is Margaret Rose, his wife of 47 years and my mother.  Husband and wife, yes, but truly best friends as well.  They loved being together, doing things together, looking for opportunities to help each other.  It was not unusual to see my dad in the kitchen fixing a meal or doing household chores like vacuuming and dusting, moving the laundry along, whatever needed to be done, he would do. 

Dad has been gone for 23 years now but I miss him as much now as I ever did.  On this Father’s day 2010, I thank the Lord for the gift of my Dad and for the years that we did have together.  I hope I learned well all the life lessons that he so patiently taught me, not so much in words, but in his actions and the way he lived his life.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, DAD AND GOD BLESS ALL OF OUR FATHERS!

Fr. Bernie Carlin, CSsR